When my special needs mom’s life started, there was no planning. God delivered me into this life and once I got over the shock and grief, I found it to be the biggest blessing.
Far too many parents receive the gift of a special needs life and think it is a curse. Seriously, it isn’t! Many Moms complain on social media about the horribleness of their child’s disability yet fail to see the gift they live with every day!
It isn’t an easy life, truly. But, I found it to be one that fit all that I am and all that I have perfectly.
Scared? Yes! There are challenges around the corner, but in the meantime, build your family and raise your child with all the love you can give. I promise it will be one of the most rewarding seasons in your life.
The Special Needs Mom Club
You did not know it on the day you gave birth or adopted your special little one, but you just joined the Special Needs Mom Club!
It requires no membership fees, or handshakes, just the simple fact that you raise at least one special needs kid!
A Special needs mom’s life brings us all sorts of challenges on a daily basis. Being a caregiver to a special needs child brings extra challenges without a manual.
While being a mom challenges us enough as women, being a special needs mom adds an extra responsibility to our mom duties. Add in one or more children and even a husband, and you have a mixture of double duty as a mom that “normal” moms just don’t have!
Fifteen years ago, the day my son came into this world, my life turned upside down from normal to special needs. I found myself driving from medical appointment to medical appointment, sitting through therapies and learning in my spare time what my son’s needs were.
What is the Special Needs Mom Club?
The Special Needs Mom Life covers all aspects of our life. We shuttle our special needs children to doctor’s appointments and therapies, and we research, and care for our children’s everyday needs. And, we do it while we also care for the rest of our families.
Probably the biggest misconception people outside of the special needs life have, is that doctors have all the answers. It simply isn’t true. Many times we have to find our own solutions as moms that a special needs life brings our way.
Finding that truth out is really the beginning of a better life. There are plenty of options that do not require medications or expensive medical care. We can find home-driven options that better fit our child’s needs. Sure, we need a diagnosis of a problem sometimes, but the truth of the matter is that there are plenty of other solutions that actually do work.
How to get started with a rewarding Special Needs Mom Club
When we all arrive in Holland, or Special Needs Land, we think we are facing a dark and difficult life filled with many twists and turns. The life we knew before is over, but it is not all bad.
- Accept joy in every moment that comes your way.
- There is no such thing as a perfect special needs life (or life, for that matter)
- Turn special needs into a life lesson for your family and friends.
- When the medical road runs out, there is always another solution.
- Perseverance. Use it freely.
- Accept the fact that special needs will never go away.
The special needs life brings you closer together as a family. Yes, there are crises, but God prepared this life for you! The seasons of peace will far outweigh the difficult times.
I cannot tell you how rich our lives became when I turned the corner of extensive medical appointments and care, versus creative solutions that made my child the happy, vibrant boy he is today. Yes, we still go to the doctor, but not every day!
Daily appointments gave way to a fuller, richer family life. We gave into life, not just survival.
Tips for Success in the Special Needs Mom Life
As I said, being willing to accept the creative solutions that actually help your child succeed and find happiness remains the best place to start. It is all in the attitude.
- Trust God and His plan for your family!
- Research the medical directories for summaries on the research of your child’s problem.
- Medication may be a short-term solution, but there may be something else you can do to help your child succeed without it.
- Talk to other moms about your child’s condition and see what solutions they found.
- Get therapy diagnosis, but do the majority of therapies at home. We all need rest and they don’t live your life.
- Don’t blindly accept blanket medical solutions for your child. Make sure it fits. Every person on this planet is unique.
- If your gut tells you not to do something, then don’t, no matter what anyone else says. Demand proof if you have to.
- If you go through a major medical crisis, DON’T BLAME YOURSELF. You have a special needs child and no matter what the Nazis say, they don’t have the answers either.
- Further, you are the special needs mom, not them. You know your child better than they do. Don’t let them tell you otherwise.
- Grieve regularly. Then count your blessings.
- Love and hug your child every day. Tell them you love them. Give them good things in life that will not bring them harm. This will carry you both through the rough times.
- Involve the rest of the family in your child’s care. There is plenty for all to do!
Common Questions/FAQ About the Special Needs Mom Life
Don’t the doctors have the answers?
We all step into Special Needs Land with this misconception. When you look for answers to a medical crisis (or otherwise), you think the best place to find an answer is at the doctor, clinic or hospital you go to. But, they aren’t God and they really don’t have all the answers. They know a tiny bit about your child’s genetic condition (and sometimes they don’t!). You, Mom, are the expert.
Can natural take the place of medications?
Each child remains unique, created by the Creator. There are many natural solutions for common everyday problems we have run to the pediatrician for. But, sometimes, the medical world has a better solution. Medications or surgery can solve a problem temporarily, but honestly, most of the time, they cannot solve permanent problems.
Do behavior medications work?
Generally speaking, they don’t. While again, medication can bring temporary relief to a problem, there are other long-term solutions that work better. Mental health medications create a dampening effect, so if you medicate your child, they may end up doped up or sleepy. There are other solutions to behavior issues that will actually heal your child. In the meantime, you can also change how you manage behavior problems with your autistic child.
See if these natural supplements help your child. (Not just for Prader-Willi Syndrome)
Try these behavior rule sheets to help with autistic and special needs behaviors.
Try these tips to help stop autistic tantrums.
Can autism be healed?
I know there are some parents that swear by natural methods to heal their autistic child. I also know that many parents find some relief from autistic behaviors when they eliminate wheat, dairy and other food allergens. Healing the gut of yeast overgrowth is another possible way to improve autistic behaviors.
Yet, most children still remain somewhat autistic, even if their symptoms improve. Only you can find out what works best for your child.
Do therapies work?
In the age of early childhood intervention by most state agencies in the United States, there is truth to moderate therapy for special needs kids. However, if you keep up their schedule of how many therapies your child needs, you will have no life.
Getting professional opinions is good, but natural, everyday therapy comes from parenting a special needs child. You can also easily do your own therapy at home.
Will our family ever be normal again?
Ah, yes, the age-old question we all ask at the beginning of the special needs life. I wonder, what is normal? Are you sure that all those other families (without special needs kiddos) are really normal?
While you can try to maintain some normal activities, ask yourself, is this really all that important to keep our family together? Think of love and togetherness and I think you will find your answer.
But aren’t medical knowledge and techniques improving?
Yes. And no. While modern science brings new ideas and understanding to the medical field, they simply are not God. They can help our kids overcome new technologies and medications in some cases. But, not all kids respond the same.
If your family receives an opportunity for a new treatment, and you think it is right for your kid, do it. I would never tell you not to. But, remember, our kids are all individuals, and just because a treatment sounds like it may work, does not mean it will. Either way, choosing the best path for your family is the Special Needs Mom Life.
Natural methods bridge the gap where the system fails us and choices abound.
Some special needs resources
It goes without saying that when all the professionals we depend on so often don’t have all the answers, what are we supposed to do? There is a 3-step alternative that does work. Pray. Research. Solve.
While you may want the easy answer, I can tell you that it won’t always come. Sometimes, the doctors don’t have the answers and they won’t tell you. Yep. Only you and your family can surmise why individuals do this, but if you are a Mom on a mission, you won’t stop there.
Sure, you can force them, but honestly, forcing someone who doesn’t want to help doesn’t work. In fact, it may even backfire on you. So, you need to find the answer. It is there, and you may need to search for it, but this is where your determination counts for something.
Here are a few resources to help you.
How to Give Your Child Speech Therapy at Home
Social Skills You Can Teach Your Child at Home
Why We Stopped Eating Wheat and The Miracle That Occurred
How to Keep a Routine in Autism Land
How to Help Your Special Needs Child Succeed in School
The Last Thing You Need to Know about the Special Needs Mom Life
We all get to the special needs life in shock and disbelief. Some of us take charge right away, others go through grief, some give over the care of their children to others, and still, others give them away completely. It is all about fearlessly facing our fears and overcoming them.
You can either embrace life, and try your best, or you can choose to find bitterness and blame others. I offer solutions in the face of the world’s imperfect solutions to help your child accomplish the best they can. You, Mom, must do the hard work.
Trust me, it is worth it.
A Special Needs Life 
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